I have not meditated even once since last Saturday. I feel chaotic, I am on hyper drive. I talked to someone on the phone on Sunday and I went directly into hyper drive. Do not pass go do not collect $100 just GO! I have been on an insane rampage. I was given the ball and I ran with, I ran with it knowing exactly where I was going and approximately how long it would take. I was, and maybe still am, excited about it. However, I ran. I ran ran ran, I did not stop to quiet myself and feel what the running felt like. ( I can't say exactly what I am talking about so I hope I am not being too cryptic).
When I do that I start feeling this unexplainable guilt at the end of the day. I start feeling like I forgot something, or someone. I feel like I did something wrong. I sort of did, I checked out. I was so busy getting involved in my new urgent task that I checked out on everything else. Balance. I seek balance. A good reminder of why I want to meditate in the first place.
I did find someone on facebook, seemingly randomly. She has been meditating for 12 years and mediates twice monthly with a group here in Spokane and I am welcome to join when they regroup after school gets started. She is also going to let me interview her.
I also found an ad in the back of a Whole Living magazine for a free mediation guide booklet. I just received it in the mail a few days ago. It's called, An Easy Guide to Meditation. It suggest to just sit for a long time so that you can go through a process of inner and outer restlessness, eventually come to a place of quiet then sit in it and feel it.
It encouraged me to rethink my plan. I am just going to sit for awhile and increase my time each day, then I will add these different styles. I will continue with my Falun Dafa group and try out the new group I have found. I will also interview people I find who are more experienced at meditation.
This is going to be a lot harder than I thought but simpler too. So I will get back up on it and hope to not fall off again any time soon. I really need this in my life in so many ways so please wish me luck and any peaceful and calming energy you can send my way will be greatly appreciated.
~M
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Well...
Have you ever gotten really excited to work out? To loose a few pounds or inches or to build muscle tone? It always starts out great. The scale is your friend, your sticker chart your BFF, every day telling you how great you're doing. It goes on like this for the first week or two. You are on top of the world. You rock at this whole exercising thing!
Then it happens. The scale is no longer your buddy. You have not lost a pound in days, maybe weeks. You have even gained a pound back. Your feeling defeated and ready to give up, then you remember you have a blog and people may be reading so you can't give up..
That's my week. I was on it, I was lovin it, I was succeeding and then NUTHIN! I couldn't even visualize myself visualizing. I was feeling defeated and ready to give up then I remembered I really do have a blog for just this purpose. So, I am dragging my feet a little here. I just detailed and emptied out my closet and the kids closets. I cleaned my whole house 4 days in a row, not because I love cleaning. I took my kids downtown, went grocery shopping, prepared meals, built a lego atlantis, instituted a new family schedule then played cheerleader so everyone would get on board, paid my bills balanced my books, went to a business meeting, worked....and somehow I am supposed to meditate on top of all of that?
I want to meditate to help with all of that because really that is a light week.
I am getting back on it tomorrow morning. I have spent a good 30-40 minutes this week meditating, I didn't blow it off entirely , I just didn't feel like it was working! Tomorrow I will use my dear friend Diego to distract the kiddies so I can get to it. Then Saturday I will head to my Falun Gong group, I am really loooking forward to that!
Please wish me luck, I could use a cheerleader right now!
~M
Then it happens. The scale is no longer your buddy. You have not lost a pound in days, maybe weeks. You have even gained a pound back. Your feeling defeated and ready to give up, then you remember you have a blog and people may be reading so you can't give up..
That's my week. I was on it, I was lovin it, I was succeeding and then NUTHIN! I couldn't even visualize myself visualizing. I was feeling defeated and ready to give up then I remembered I really do have a blog for just this purpose. So, I am dragging my feet a little here. I just detailed and emptied out my closet and the kids closets. I cleaned my whole house 4 days in a row, not because I love cleaning. I took my kids downtown, went grocery shopping, prepared meals, built a lego atlantis, instituted a new family schedule then played cheerleader so everyone would get on board, paid my bills balanced my books, went to a business meeting, worked....and somehow I am supposed to meditate on top of all of that?
I want to meditate to help with all of that because really that is a light week.
I am getting back on it tomorrow morning. I have spent a good 30-40 minutes this week meditating, I didn't blow it off entirely , I just didn't feel like it was working! Tomorrow I will use my dear friend Diego to distract the kiddies so I can get to it. Then Saturday I will head to my Falun Gong group, I am really loooking forward to that!
Please wish me luck, I could use a cheerleader right now!
~M
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Month 2 Week 1: Visualization Meditation
This one is simple. In this meditation I will be focusing on something that I would like to see in my life. I have a pretty good idea of what I will be focusing on but I am not quite ready to tell you, sorry, a girl has to keep some secrets. I may change my mind later though. For now I am going to practice visualization meditation for at least 15 minutes every morning when I get up, and because I was not wholly satisfied with last weeks mantra meditation I will be doing that for 15 minutes before bed. I can easily waist 30 minutes on the computer or staring at the house work I need to do but this feels slightly daunting and is definitely a commitment. The biggest of which will be getting up before the kids, I love love love to sleep in. I can do this!
Please join me and try your own visualization. Picture something or someone you would like to see in your life. Or picture somewhere you would like to be. It is best done in the first person, meaning see it with your own eyes rather than picturing yourself doing whatever it may be. For example, say you want to open a business, speak in front of a crowd of people, karaoke, or overcome a personal fear. (One of those is mine, but that's all I'm saying.) I have found it is helpful to use a meditation timer, or any timer so that I do not have to keep looking at the clock. Start small with just 10-15 minutes each time. So now you have your timer, sit down and close your eyes and begin to picture yourself standing in front of the crowd. Picture the faces in the crowd, the lights, as much detail as you can. Remember this is YOUR visualization so don't throw a heckler into the crowd! Make it a positive experience. This one can be really fun. Try to stick with the same visulazation at least for a few days if not the whole week.
Ready Set Go!
~M
Please join me and try your own visualization. Picture something or someone you would like to see in your life. Or picture somewhere you would like to be. It is best done in the first person, meaning see it with your own eyes rather than picturing yourself doing whatever it may be. For example, say you want to open a business, speak in front of a crowd of people, karaoke, or overcome a personal fear. (One of those is mine, but that's all I'm saying.) I have found it is helpful to use a meditation timer, or any timer so that I do not have to keep looking at the clock. Start small with just 10-15 minutes each time. So now you have your timer, sit down and close your eyes and begin to picture yourself standing in front of the crowd. Picture the faces in the crowd, the lights, as much detail as you can. Remember this is YOUR visualization so don't throw a heckler into the crowd! Make it a positive experience. This one can be really fun. Try to stick with the same visulazation at least for a few days if not the whole week.
Ready Set Go!
~M
Friday, August 6, 2010
Mantra Meditation
This week has been challenging in many ways. By the end of Monday I was frazzled tired and irritated. By Wednesday things seemed to be looking up and then I received a phone call that upset the rest of the day. Today things are feeling good and I have my patience back.
During the last month I have had several situations put before me that required me to make firm and, to be sure, unpopular decisions. I made each one easily despite disapproval and in each one I made the right choice. I feel good about the choices I have made and they have made me feel stronger. When I look in the mirror I see a woman looking back rather than a little girl playing house. I have conquered some of my worst challenges his month and I feel great.
So what does this have to do with meditation and the mindfulness I have been practicing in my life? Everything. This week I was able to devote at least 15 minutes each day at a similar time, to meditating. It helped me not only while I was meditating but throughout the day I felt like I could remind myself of the way it makes me feel and that would help calm me down. I want to be able to call on that feeling more easily and I imagine if I keep this up I will be able to.
Mantra Meditation
I did not love this meditation.I didn't really like repeating the mantra out loud, it made it challenging to breath well. I think originally I thought I would enjoy mantra meditation because I imagined meditating to a word or phrase that meant something to me. I think I will just incorporating some of that kind of mantra meditation next week as I start to work in 2x 15 minute sessions each day.
One thing I did enjoy was that rather than the constant gibberish my mind throws at me in words, it was throwing images since my words were focused on the mantra. The images were easier to ignore than the usual wordy thoughts. I was also able to quiet my body and sit longer than I had been the week before. I am not sure if this is from a week of practice or that the mantra was more calming then the Binaural meditation.
Next week is Visualization Meditation. I will continue practicing Mantra Meditation throughout the weekend and I will be sure to post some links and resources to get started for next week.
~M
During the last month I have had several situations put before me that required me to make firm and, to be sure, unpopular decisions. I made each one easily despite disapproval and in each one I made the right choice. I feel good about the choices I have made and they have made me feel stronger. When I look in the mirror I see a woman looking back rather than a little girl playing house. I have conquered some of my worst challenges his month and I feel great.
So what does this have to do with meditation and the mindfulness I have been practicing in my life? Everything. This week I was able to devote at least 15 minutes each day at a similar time, to meditating. It helped me not only while I was meditating but throughout the day I felt like I could remind myself of the way it makes me feel and that would help calm me down. I want to be able to call on that feeling more easily and I imagine if I keep this up I will be able to.
Mantra Meditation
I did not love this meditation.I didn't really like repeating the mantra out loud, it made it challenging to breath well. I think originally I thought I would enjoy mantra meditation because I imagined meditating to a word or phrase that meant something to me. I think I will just incorporating some of that kind of mantra meditation next week as I start to work in 2x 15 minute sessions each day.
One thing I did enjoy was that rather than the constant gibberish my mind throws at me in words, it was throwing images since my words were focused on the mantra. The images were easier to ignore than the usual wordy thoughts. I was also able to quiet my body and sit longer than I had been the week before. I am not sure if this is from a week of practice or that the mantra was more calming then the Binaural meditation.
Next week is Visualization Meditation. I will continue practicing Mantra Meditation throughout the weekend and I will be sure to post some links and resources to get started for next week.
~M
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Mantra Meditation
Referring to the WildMind link I mentioned before I chose the mantra I am going to stick with this week. I chose this mantra because the description states,
The warm color of the setting sun seemed to resonate with me so I stuck with it. If you are meditating along with me please read the link above. At the bottom they have an MP3 of the mantra so you can practice before you begin your meditation. The mantra is beautiful and as warm as the colorful description. I will work this week towards having a set time to meditate. I will meditate every day at least once for a minimum of 20 minutes. Saturday I will also continue my new meditation group to support my practice. I look forward to the coming week and I hope you will join me. There are many mantras to choose from so pick one that calls to you and breathe deep.
~M
'He represents love and compassion, and he is pictured as being the rich, warm color of the setting sun.'
The warm color of the setting sun seemed to resonate with me so I stuck with it. If you are meditating along with me please read the link above. At the bottom they have an MP3 of the mantra so you can practice before you begin your meditation. The mantra is beautiful and as warm as the colorful description. I will work this week towards having a set time to meditate. I will meditate every day at least once for a minimum of 20 minutes. Saturday I will also continue my new meditation group to support my practice. I look forward to the coming week and I hope you will join me. There are many mantras to choose from so pick one that calls to you and breathe deep.
~M
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