Saturday, August 21, 2010

I'm back!

I have not meditated even once since last Saturday. I feel chaotic, I am on hyper drive. I talked to someone on the phone on Sunday and I went directly into hyper drive. Do not pass go do not collect $100 just GO! I have been on an insane rampage. I was given the ball and I ran with, I ran with it knowing exactly where I was going and approximately how long it would take. I was, and maybe still am, excited about it. However, I ran. I ran ran ran, I did not stop to quiet myself and feel what the running felt like. ( I can't say exactly what I am talking about so I hope I am not being too cryptic).
When I do that I start feeling this unexplainable guilt at the end of the day. I start feeling like I forgot something, or someone. I feel like I did something wrong. I sort of did, I checked out. I was so busy getting involved in my new urgent task that I checked out on everything else. Balance. I seek balance. A good reminder of why I want to meditate in the first place.
I did find someone on facebook, seemingly randomly. She has been meditating for 12 years and mediates twice monthly with a group here in Spokane and I am welcome to join when they regroup after school gets started. She is also going to let me interview her.
I also found an ad in the back of a Whole Living magazine for a free mediation guide booklet. I just received it in the mail a few days ago. It's called, An Easy Guide to Meditation. It suggest to just sit for a long time so that you can go through a process of inner and outer restlessness, eventually come to a place of quiet then sit in it and feel it.

It encouraged me to rethink my plan. I am just going to sit for awhile and increase my time each day, then I will add these different styles. I will continue with my Falun Dafa group and try out the new group I have found. I will also interview people I find who are more experienced at meditation.
This is going to be a lot harder than I thought but simpler too. So I will get back up on it and hope to not fall off again any time soon. I really need this in my life in so many ways so please wish me luck and any peaceful and calming energy you can send my way will be greatly appreciated.
~M

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