Meditation in the Park.

This morning I got up early and headed to the local meditation group. When I first arrived in the park I was a little intimidated and unsure I would make it out of the car. I watched a group for a minute  or two and quickly realized they were doing sun salutations. I did not come to do yoga, I wanted meditation. I scanned the park and saw a small group of 3 people clearly meditating. I walked over and sat patiently near the group. Still unsure if I would get to join, I was ten minutes late and  I was not going to interrupt. Fortunately they reached a transitional point and I introduced myself and was welcome into the group. I instantly felt at ease and light hearted with this group.
After that I learned the art of Falun Gong, a form of Qi Gong. We cycled through a series of movement s and held postures. Some moves were very simple but required endurance and some were a little more complicated. I could feel energy moving as I moved my hands in a slow dance. One move felt like an energy car wash! It felt as if I was cleansing and invigorating my energy as I went through the moves. At one point I noticed that I was smiling. I left feeling peaceful, connected and pleasantly energized. I will be back next week as well.

This is the end of my Binaural Meditation week. I will continue it through the weekend as I also gear up to start Mantra Meditation om Monday. I would say it has been a good first week. This morning my husband said I was glowing. Definitely a glow coming from an inner peace that I have glimpsed this week. I feel clear this week and content. I easily prepared fantastic foods and have felt as ease about finances, business and parenting. In spite of this weeks successes I do understand that this is barely the tip of the ice berg. I want to cultivate and nurture these feelings of peace, clarity and inner wisdom. I have had glimpses of these things all too often in my past just to watch them dissappear into the chaos of daily living, sometimes for years. I don't want to lose my bearings this time. I want to go deeper and deeper into my true self so that I can let it shine and do the work I was put here to do.
I look forward to next week and the coming weeks. Thank you for reading about my journey. This blog has already helped me to stay on track, I don't like to let people down and I'm learning more importantly not to let myself down. Until next week, breathe deep and enjoy the moment.
Good Night.
~M

Binaural Meditation Week in Review

I have not yet meditated today but I will after I put the kids to bed.

My week has gone really well. I have enjoyed some vivid dreams and better sleep too, the week before I was having a really hard time sleeping. I have felt more calm and ready for each day. I have cooked and prepared really yummy meals and snacks all week, as well as completing a meal plan and grocery list/shopping.
That stuff is profound really.
I typically avoid anything that has to do with cooking, grocery shopping and especially meal planning. Mostly because every time I try to do it I make it way to complicated, I always look in cookbooks and try to make lists out of the ingredients and I always choose meals that are way to time consuming to make and realize it later when I am trying to prepare dinner at 6 pm. This time I realized how simple it really is,I just thought of the things I like to eat and made that the meal plan. I know that sounds incredibly ridiculous and terribly obvious but the truth is I never really thought of it that way and I have wasted tons of food from ill planned shopping. So this little accomplishment, this acknowledgment of the simplicity of it all, is huge. I absolutely accredit this recent success to the small bits of meditation I have practiced this week. I am very optimistic and incredibly excited to see what the next few weeks bring!
~M

Good Morning!

This morning I am not heading out to the retreat like I had planned, i will definitely be going to mediation group tomorrow though.
It is still early around our house and I haven't had any mediation time yet. My youngest son (3.5 yrs) was playing with his daddy golf club and he shot a hole in one twice!! He was very pleased with himself and so was I. Then my oldest (6 yrs) got up to try. He was sort of grumpy about it and expected to get a hole in one as well. He didn't and he was grumpy and a bit smug. This is not unusual for him. He asked why his brother could do it. I said it was because he had a light heart and was just trying to have fun. Then I left for a minute. When I came back he smiled and told me that he made his heart light by meditating and then he had fun! He also said that he has been practicing his breathing to calm himself down when he needs it.
On that note here are some great books that we read, we also have a cd with soothing background music that plays each of these stories. We use the goodnight caterpillar, The Boy And The Bear and The Boy And The Turtle. She has many other great stories too. The three we have use guided relaxation, , colors and breath work. Fantastic stuff that all children can benefit from.
~M

I'm doing it!!

This morning I had a fantastic and strange dream that I feel was deeply profound. I have not yet found the words to sum it up without adding all of the details but I am working on that and it is my intention to post it later today or tomorrow.

Today I was able to find 15 minutes to enjoy some binaural beats. I struggled to calm my mind and relax. I felt fidgety and distracted again. This time however I found a point on the tree outside my window. A hole between the leaves the flowed as the wind gently blew it around. It helped me to have this focus and I was able to stay for 5 minutes after the beat had ended. I did not want to get up. Even when I did finally get up I still felt somewhat detached and peaceful.
 I definitely want to purchase some more effective binaural beats, I am sure I am not getting the full enjoyment that a highly tuned and well made beat can provide. That may have to wait till another week though, I will just add it on at the end.

I started looking into next weeks practice, Mantra Meditation and I found this link that explains many things but I was most interested in the wealth of knowledge they offer just on Meditation Posture. I plan to dive into that entirely before my next chance to meditate. Today I found it most comfortable lying down but they say this is not an effective meditation posture. Maybe that is why I feel so drowsy. I also feel peaceful and calm but my jaws are really tight.

Tomorrow morning I plan to head up to the Immaculate Heart retreat off the palouse. It is a beautiful place with great places for solitude, meditation and quiet contemplation. Saturday I am heading to a local park for a group guided meditation. I can't wait!

I'm doing it I'm doing it I'm really doing it!!!

~M

Bianural Meditation

Ok so far so good. Mostly. I did meditate Monday night before bed with some binaural beats I got from a Free App called BinauralBeat. I listened to quite a few previews on itunes and there are some great albums out there with good background music. The beat itself is actually just one continuous hum. I chose this app because it is free mainly but I am enjoying it. I do not love the background noises but you can listen to just the beat and I seem to prefer that. It does not specify what brain wave you are working on but based on the descriptions and the research I did on Monday I can figure it out.
On Monday  and Tuesday before I went to bed I listened to a "Dream" beat. Probably a Delta. I did experience increased and more vivid dreams that I remembered long after I woke up. The remembering is a miracle, usually I wake up with my littlest saying "get up get up. I'm Hungry."Not a great way to wake up if you want to remember your dreams.

Today I found 30 minutes to meditate quietly outside thanks to a quick episode of Diego for the kids. I was enjoying myself at first then I became fidgety and distracted. I made it through a full 30 minutes but I am going to practice some more with this. I am also going to spend a few bucks on a real binaural mp3. Turns out I may just be enjoying a placebo effect with my free app. Apparently the good stuff cost a bit of money. We shall see. So far i am enjoying the beats and I am feeling a greater calm and sense of clarity, even if just a little. I will continue to meditate 1-2x per day with the binaural beats. Wish me luck and focus!
~M

Bianural Beat Meditation

Ok so there is a lot of info on Binaural beats and it is pretty cool stuff. I started to add in all the info I found but I decided to do a quick recap and then direct you to the site I found if you want more information.

There are 5 brainwaves

Alpha Gamma  Delta Theta and Beta

Each one affects our brains differently. 
Binaural Beats are a sort of brainwave entertainment.

"Put very simply binaural beats are specially generated sounds that are created in order to alter your brainwaves. By altering your brainwave frequencies you are able to influence your mind into experiencing altered states of consciousness. Which altered mind state you achieve will depend on the exact frequency of the binaural beats."~Bianural Beats Online.com

In a nutshell,
Of all the different brain waves Alpha brainwaves are the strongest and most prominent. They promote peace, calm creativity and balance as well as released stress and anxiety.

Gamma Waves increase compassion happiness and they make you smart.

Theta is very popular and offers body healing, heightened intuition,  reprogramming the subconscious, intense emotional connections and more.

Delta waves have to do with sleeping when we are in a dreamless state so you will find these beats to be helpful sleep aids.

Beta is active when we are speaking or teaching and I did not find any direct info on beats for this wave.

There you have it. All sorts of cool information about your brain and meditation. I am excited about all of this and I look forward to giving it a try. I found plenty of binaural specific beat albums on itunes but for tonight I am going to try out a kind of basic binaural app I found for my iphone. I will probably be tapping into the delta waves using the sleep beat on this app. I will get into a more specific wave tomorrow. I can't decide which one to start with!

~M

I've got it!

Ok so I found a site listing 10 types of meditation, there are many more but this is where I will start. Here they are. I will begin this week starting Tuesday-Sunday. As meditation and computer work seem quite contrary to me I may only blog 1x per week. I will throw in some weekday stuff to when I find the time. Here is my list. I found it on this site:  Bright Hub

1: Binaural Beats Meditation

2: Mantra Meditation

3: Visualization Meditation

4: In the Moment Meditation

5: Spiritual Meditation

6: Activity Meditation

7: Quiet Mind Meditation

8: Guided Meditation

9: Walking Meditation 

 

10: Breathing Meditation

I will start at 1 and work my way through. I plan to spend a week on each one but I may decide to extend it out to 2 if it goes well.

Week 2 Flop

 This week has been really unusually busy and well, I flopped.  I really hoped to have had a plan formulated by now. I am still working on that though. I did come up with a few things that will be helpful along the way.
Yesterday while house cleaning and listening to NPR I heard a story about some religious group in the middle east. It got me thinking about how different religions meditate, through song, prayer, dance, and so on. I started thinking about the ways I have meditated with ease in the past. Sewing, dancing, massage, cycling and snowboarding have all allowed a certain level of meditation for me. Visualization and guided meditation also work well. I want to go deeper though and  I would like to be able to get to a place where I can get into a meditative state silently, without movement and on my own (no guided mediation). Although guided meditation will be part of my beginning phase.

I tried to listen to some guided meditations on youtube. They were all mostly annoying.


So I am giving myself 1 more week to formulate a plan and start it. My general plan is to pick from a number of techniques and chose 1 per week for as long as I have techniques I would like to try. Then I will dive back into whichever technique(s) work best.


I am heading to the Pow Wow, Julyamsh,  tomorrow and I hope to have a chance to speak to some Native Americans from different tribes about how they meditate. If nothing else I bet I will hear some great stories! and I know I will hear some incredible music and see some beautiful dance.

Next Monday I know I will be  off and running with my first weeks choice.

~M

Week 1 wrap up

 It's Friday and I have finished my first week of this project.
I think it was a good week to start. I had lost a friend of two decades to lying and manipulation. I hope that we may recover from this in the future but for now we must go our separate ways. I am feeling some physical manifestations from the stress of this loss. My jaws are tight and it takes great effort to bring my breath down deep. My throat is tight as well. Despite all of this my mind feels clear and the chatter has quieted somewhat. I feel good in the way I have chosen to present myself this week.

I will continue throughout the weekend to bring breath and mindfulness to each moment. I hope this can become a lifelong practice. So with week one done and dusted lets recap-

I practiced mindfulness and awareness
I practiced being present and in the moment
I listened to my intuitions
I breathed in
I breathed out
I focused on my craft, my ashiatsu
I began rereading my reiki book and started some self healing

In this I gained some clarity.
I knew instantly what to do when faced with an awkward situation with my friend.

I saw my son with new eyes.

I felt kinder, softer and more appreciative of my husband.

Next week my goals are to come up with a strategy, my game plan. I need a time frame and specific techniques to try.  I hope to spend some time this weekend developing a plan that I can share with you on Monday.
Until then Sweet Dreams and Breath Deep.
~M

Day 4

Today I rode my bike to work with Brendan. Then I rode all around downtown. These days, there are few things I love more than riding my bike. I have always enjoyed riding but now it's not just riding, it's a little bit of freedom from everything else.


Later I practiced Ashiatsu on two friends. I did great on the first one but the second one was really smooth and had a great flow front and back. I was able to keep my mind quiet throughout both and it felt amazing.

Tonight I sat watching my eldest son sleeping. Not in the usual way of undying adoration, but in a way that felt new. He seemed different. It made me wonder, "who are you?'  I think in the bible it says something about children not being our own. I think I understand these wise words tonight, my children are gifts and I am only here to help them grow as best I can. I guess I already new that, but somehow I didn't know it on the same level of consciousness that I know it on now. I have an understanding of separateness, or independence, and it makes it seem as if I can see him through new eyes...

so I decided that was my meditation.



It made me wonder, what does it really mean to meditate?

So I looked it up.

Meditate;-verb

1. to engage in thought or contemplation; reflect.

2. to engage in transcendental meditation, devout religious contemplation, or quiescent spiritual introspection.

In short,  I had a wonderful bike ride and the freedom it allows, I gave two incredible Ashiatsu treatments, I saw my son with new eyes and I learned that I was meditating all along! Clarity here I come!

~M

Day 3

Tonight as I go to bed I can feel my root chakra is activated. I have not been able to wake up and meditate but I feel I am incorporating mindfulness into my live in ways that are already beginning to have an impact. I began rereading an old Reiki book last night then I received a call today from a woman who is coming to town to teach Reiki. Two days in a row I have had two different people tell me that they want to start a meditation routine to quiet their minds but they had no idea where to start.
This morning I sent an email to a friend who has been very dear to me for two decades but has recently begun making very bad choices. She used me as cover in her last bad choice. I was feeling frustrated and angered by this and then this morning I took my power back. It was very liberating and empowering. I have a very strong sense of my feet being rooted firmly in the ground. An incredible feeling for me, I typically feel airy like I am floating away. Sometimes I even need someone to grab my leg and pull me back to earth. But not tonight, tonight I feel grounded in a most profound way.
I have been seeking to return to my path and I am not sure I have but I am sure I am on my way there.

~M

Day 2

Last night I went out with the girls. We had a blast but the night ended with one of the girls in a very awkward situation. That and a lack of sleep this morning didn’t aid in getting out of bed this morning, but it did give me plenty of opportunities throughout the day to remind myself to come back to my breath.

I went for a lovely ride on the centennial trail with my family and everyone is now home relaxing.

Getting out of bed in the morning has always been an incredible challenge for me so I am going to continue this week simply bringing myself back to the now each time my mind wanders, and I will continue to remember my breath. Perhaps I should think about meditating at night. (Only if it means I don’t have to give up my Weeds and Californication habit!)

I guess if I really want to do this and incorporate mediation into my life I need to come up with a plan or at the very least some goals and mile markers to help me see how far I have come and how far I still want to go.

~M

Day 1

Well the plan was to get up at 7 and meditate before the kids got up. My alarm went off at 7 and I turned it off and lay in bed thinking about getting up until I looked at my clock again to find it was already 8:35. I needed to be to work by 9! So I lay in bed for another 5-10 minutes before finally getting up, throwing on some clothes, convincing the kids to help me leave in a hurry rather than their usual whining about my leaving. All that just to realize I could not find my keys! I ran up and down and all over in a mild panic but trying to remain calm as an act of on the go meditation. I finally found my keys and off I went.

    Throughout the day I continued to breath deeply any time I felt my self get frustrated or annoyed . It seemed to keep me on track through out the day and into the evening.

    So, although my plan to practice meditating in a more controlled environment did not pan out, I did manage to meditate in bits and pieces. Not a complete loss.

~M

Meditation Project

What do I expect to gain from this?
I hope to gain clarity most of all, and the peace that comes with clarity.

The Plan.
I am still working on a plan and a time line but for now I am thinking that I will start by calling attention to the  present moment as much as possible during the day. I am focusing on my breath and working to calm myself when I become irritated or angry.
I want to begin actually sitting down and meditating in the morning or before bed. I have many options here and I plan to try one at a time to find out what works best. I am thinking of movement oriented mediation, visualization and guided meditation, breath work, and so on. I will spend this week, week one, figuring out which to start with and assign a week or two to each style. I  want to find what works best for me then begin a daily practice.
I imagine that this should be at least a 6 month project. It will take me at least that long to get a solid foundation and to see and feel the changes I am hoping for.


So wish me luck!
~M

Here's where it started

I have been feeling off kilter lately. For a long time really. I feel unstable. I am just being carried along by my life and I want live with more intention. I have always been on a spiritual path in one way or another, or at least this path has presented itself to me and I have not yet chosen to walk down it completely. I like to cut through the forest and get lost often. I have been blessed with sweat lodges, spiritual healers, sage grass, sweet grass, energy healing, body work....and yet I have never fully immersed myself in these things. Perhaps more than your average Jane but not much. I am not sure that it is my path to do so, but I am equally unsure that it isn't.
The reason I am writing this page is because I would like to really walk the path that I have been walking near to but not on for all of these years. I want to step into my path before I lose sight of it altogether. I want to live deeper, with more intention, more grace and more beauty. I want my cup to overflow and spill out to be shared with the people who come into my life. I want to realize my full potential.

I have decided to try meditation and I've also decided that I would share this attempt with whoever may chose to read about it. I am using this outlet to create some accountability for myself, to follow through with what I start. I hope, more than anything, to gain clarity. I believe it is clarity that will help me to find my path and meditation will help me to stick with it.

The Plan:
Practice each meditation style listed below for every day for 1 week each.  I have started out with 15 minutes 1xper day. My goal is to work up to 20 minutes 2x per day. 

1: Binaural Beats Meditation   2: Mantra Meditation   3: Visualization Meditation  4: In the Moment Meditation  5: Spiritual Meditation  6: Activity Meditation  7: Quiet Mind Meditation   8: Guided Meditation   9: Walking Meditation  10: Breathing Meditation

~M

"Meditation is very important. It has a very high objective - to take us away from this world of suffering into the world of happiness, joy and Bliss. It is a method, a discipline, that we have to follow very discreetly and if we follow it properly we will find that meditation helps us to discover ourselves, what we really are. As we get deeper into meditation we come nearer to the Source of our Being."

                                                                                                -Swami Nirliptananda